Good Vibes Only, please.

You know there's something wrong going on in history when the word "hater" becomes a part of our every-day vocabulary.  Hate is such a strong word! It's dark and intense. It denotes danger, poison, and none of what is good.  Love should win, always! Yet, there is opposition in all things, and for all the love given and received there has to be a counterpart. I get it. 

It was only a week ago when Instagram released a "gif" inviting people to "Ask a Question" and in the blink of an eye, things got personal.  I always hesitate when it comes to answering personal questions on social media. My inner child, who is sometimes very cynical waved a red flag that instantly questioned something like: "Is Mark Zuckerberg building a character-profile database with all these questions and answers?" Maybe...sigh.  I was surprised at the interest my followers had in getting to know me, so I gave in to it and answered questions about my education, hobbies, family, likes, dislikes and the church.  I didn't think any of them made me appear any more or less interesting than I am, until one question caught my eye:

How do you handle the haters on social media?

What a loaded question, right?! I stared at my Instagram, baffled at how, for a second, I actually thought it would take 3 seconds to answer it.  But noooooooooo! It's taken me over a week to ponder and discuss. The bottom line is that there is no simple answer to this question.  

I have been bashed on social media before. I've received direct messages from people who not only question my intentions, but are quick to give their harsh opinions about my content; and the saddest one: I've found out that people close to me criticize my account behind my back.  Every one of those instances was an opportunity for self-discovery.  I was forced to look back at my content and re-focus my efforts on the WHY I do it, not just the WHAT I do with it.  I felt confused and overwhelmed, wondering if I was doing something wrong, what I could do to "fix" it; and even wondered what I needed to change within myself in order to create content that would please these individuals who now brought everything I do with my feed into question.  I have to admit that I even considered deleting my account and starting from zero with a new one, or none at all.  It wasn't until I discussed it out loud with my inner circle that I realized how ridiculous that sounds.  Turning to my love, my baby sister and my closest friends opened my eyes to the fact that the intentions behind every single one of my posts is noble.   I already knew that, but somehow forgot it in between the pressure and that "social media anxiety" that gets in the way of honesty and creativity.  

They helped me reach one important conclusion:  Despite the fact that Instagram and Facebook fall under the same "social media" category, my participation in each is about me, and no one else. My content is about what I want to share. The fact that my posts may touch, inspire, encourage or influence someone else is just an added bonus; and trust me, it feels amazing! Every person that reaches out with a kind comment, a curious message asking me about what I do, or a sincere concern requesting my advice is a blessing that I consider myself privileged to receive.  In my opinion, it takes just one person who likes what they see for it all to be worth it.

However, that's not always the case. Some people cannot resist the chance to bring someone down, bully them and criticize.  We call them haters, but I think they are the ones who need love the most. I thought I was alone in this sentiment, but people around me confirm the belief that haters are insecure and unhappy individuals who take advantage of social media to project their issues onto others because in some way, they can get away with it. Interesting... makes me wonder if they'd be brave enough to do the same to someone's face.  The entire concept is sad and lonely. Why not focus on the positive? Why not search for what you truly like and simply unfollow what you don't like, instead of criticizing? There is SO MUCH to entertain everybody! To answer the infamous question, I do not handle the haters or do anything about it. I rarely answer to their questions or snide comments. I choose to ignore, unfollow and even block depending on how bad it is. That's it. Try it!

I am so grateful for every one of you who love what I do, who read my blog, who comment on my posts and encourage me to do more of what I love.  To be honest, on days when I feel down, you help me smile and feel better, and that's priceless. How amazing that in a world so big, one of you may look at my insignificant account and I find a treasure. Thank you!  To those in the opposite team, be brave enough to unfollow accounts that don't make you happy. Don't just criticize unless you are truly trying to help. Don't waste your time putting people down. Share love, share goodness, share happiness, or share nothing at all.  As for me, I will choose love for myself and everyone who wants it.